Just came across this song... and died a happy death. I needed to hear this so I pass along the lyrics to you.
If you really love me, then let's make a vow
Right here together, right now
Ok? ok
Alright, repeat after me
I'm gonna be free
And I'm gonna be brave
Good?
I'm gonna live each day as if it were my last
Oh that's good. You like that? Yeah, Say it
Fantastically,
Courageously,
With Grace
And in the dark of the night,
and it does get dark
When I call a name it'll be your name
Whats your name?
Never mind, let's go, say it, let's go
Everywhere, even though, we're scared
Cause it's life and it's happening
It's really really happening
Right Now
I have found myself surrounded by some of the greatest people during these last few days of devestation and adversity. People rally behind me. They believe in me. And I have finally learned the fine art of finding a phoenix to rise from the ashes. God forbid one shine so bright. There is always more opportunity. And I'm ready to take it. Because it's there. It's ready for me if I'm ready to walk through the door. And I am. And I will. With Grace.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
To Do?
This is what my to do list looks like.....
1- Finish/hand in rest of my work for Adapt (update- just did this)
2- Finish headpiece for solo costume. Time to plug in that glue gun
3-Go to bank
4-Get boxes and packing tape
5-Pack my life into said boxes
6-Class plans for while I'm away at competition
7-Teach, teach, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse
8-Sew elastics onto costume prop
9-Sleep?? Should I bother trying to put that on here??
Um... I think that's everything. I fervently hope that's everything because if I forgot something it will clearly not ever get done. Which would be bad because Everything Needs to Get Done. I feel better for simply having written that stuff down though.
And now, time for AN APPEAL TO THE VOTING MASSES! Now, I am well aware that my generation is apathetic about voting. You feel your vote won't change anything. Or you're ill informed about politics and don't know who to vote for. Well, I'm here to help. Your vote DOES MATTER. If you're not happy with the current state of things, there's a lot you can do to show your unhappiness besides not voting. Because what happens when we don't vote? The government that gets in power is not a true representation of what the country wants. So here's what you can do. Get yourself informed. Here are links to every party's website. Read their platform. See where you stand. Or go to CBC Vote Compass which asks a series of questions about where you stand on certain issues and flat out tells you which party you most align with.
www.cbc.ca/news/politics/canadavotes2011/votecompasswww.conservative.ca
www.liberal.ca
www.ndp.ca
www.blocquebecois.org
www.greenparty.ca
A few more things before I wrap this up. If you're still unsure of who you want to vote for, or don't care to take the time to get informed, there is one more thing you can do instead of not voting. DISCOUNT YOUR BALLOT!. Go, vote, and check off more than one party. Vote for every single person on that ballot. That renders it useless, but you've shown up so you can be counted as having voted. That sends a much clearer message to the powers that be in Canada than simply not showing up. It's time to stop being apathetic about the state of our country. Because let's face it. This generation is no longer the future. We're having kids. Getting married. We have jobs. We buy houses. We pay taxes. Our kids are now the future. Which makes us the present. And makes us accountable and responsible in a way that we weren't when we thought of ourselves as the future generation. Time to be in the present. VOTE! One more thing.... May 2nd not convenient for you to vote? It isn't for me either. Go to www.elections.ca to find out where to vote, how to vote, and when your advance polls are. It's time for change Canada and it starts with us.
1- Finish/hand in rest of my work for Adapt (update- just did this)
2- Finish headpiece for solo costume. Time to plug in that glue gun
3-Go to bank
4-Get boxes and packing tape
5-Pack my life into said boxes
6-Class plans for while I'm away at competition
7-Teach, teach, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse
8-Sew elastics onto costume prop
9-Sleep?? Should I bother trying to put that on here??
Um... I think that's everything. I fervently hope that's everything because if I forgot something it will clearly not ever get done. Which would be bad because Everything Needs to Get Done. I feel better for simply having written that stuff down though.
And now, time for AN APPEAL TO THE VOTING MASSES! Now, I am well aware that my generation is apathetic about voting. You feel your vote won't change anything. Or you're ill informed about politics and don't know who to vote for. Well, I'm here to help. Your vote DOES MATTER. If you're not happy with the current state of things, there's a lot you can do to show your unhappiness besides not voting. Because what happens when we don't vote? The government that gets in power is not a true representation of what the country wants. So here's what you can do. Get yourself informed. Here are links to every party's website. Read their platform. See where you stand. Or go to CBC Vote Compass which asks a series of questions about where you stand on certain issues and flat out tells you which party you most align with.
www.cbc.ca/news/politics/canadavotes2011/votecompasswww.conservative.ca
www.liberal.ca
www.ndp.ca
www.blocquebecois.org
www.greenparty.ca
A few more things before I wrap this up. If you're still unsure of who you want to vote for, or don't care to take the time to get informed, there is one more thing you can do instead of not voting. DISCOUNT YOUR BALLOT!. Go, vote, and check off more than one party. Vote for every single person on that ballot. That renders it useless, but you've shown up so you can be counted as having voted. That sends a much clearer message to the powers that be in Canada than simply not showing up. It's time to stop being apathetic about the state of our country. Because let's face it. This generation is no longer the future. We're having kids. Getting married. We have jobs. We buy houses. We pay taxes. Our kids are now the future. Which makes us the present. And makes us accountable and responsible in a way that we weren't when we thought of ourselves as the future generation. Time to be in the present. VOTE! One more thing.... May 2nd not convenient for you to vote? It isn't for me either. Go to www.elections.ca to find out where to vote, how to vote, and when your advance polls are. It's time for change Canada and it starts with us.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
This State of Emergency
They say April showers bring May flowers. In my world it's more like April showers bring COMPETITION SEASON. I'm currently gearing up for stage rehearsal and all things comp. This includes the tedious tasks of tweaking music cuts, making cds of said tweaked music, creating makeup face charts, compiling lists of the cosmetics needed to do what is on said face chart, rhinestoning (endless stoning, only to be done in the company of fellow teachers with copious amounts of wine), make up trials for those pieces that require over and above the usual, still more rehearsals and regular classes, worrying about costumes that won't be finished on time... The list of "things to fucking do" is endless. And there will always be more to do, some last lurking task that remains hidden until it's "HOLY FUCK WE FORGOT TO DO THIS WE HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW!'
We have stage rehearsal on Saturday and stage rehearsal always fills me with excitement and dread in equal measure. Excitement since it's all coming together and it gives me a chance to see my work from a distance and get an idea of what it's actually going to look like. Dread because spacing is always a disaster and dancing in costumes for the first time can be tricky. Particularly my group that actually uses their skirts... it will be their first time doing so. I get the distinct feeling it's going to be scary. But then again we have another two weeks after that to do even more rehearsal. It will be ok. Yes that is the sound of me trying to convince myself more than anyone.
On Monday there was a freak power outage at the studio. After calming the kids down, we had a lovely time dancing in the pitch black studio, with nothing but cell phone and candle light. It was very earth hour of us. When the power came back on however, so did the heat.... in full force. And they are unable to shut it off. So the studio is like a steam bath. Akin to dancing in a sauna. I'm now sweating by the time my warm up has hit "and stretch forward...". Keep in mind I'm about 8 counts into the warm up at this point. But sweating is good for us. There are definitely no toxins left in my body. I don't see how there could be.
We have stage rehearsal on Saturday and stage rehearsal always fills me with excitement and dread in equal measure. Excitement since it's all coming together and it gives me a chance to see my work from a distance and get an idea of what it's actually going to look like. Dread because spacing is always a disaster and dancing in costumes for the first time can be tricky. Particularly my group that actually uses their skirts... it will be their first time doing so. I get the distinct feeling it's going to be scary. But then again we have another two weeks after that to do even more rehearsal. It will be ok. Yes that is the sound of me trying to convince myself more than anyone.
On Monday there was a freak power outage at the studio. After calming the kids down, we had a lovely time dancing in the pitch black studio, with nothing but cell phone and candle light. It was very earth hour of us. When the power came back on however, so did the heat.... in full force. And they are unable to shut it off. So the studio is like a steam bath. Akin to dancing in a sauna. I'm now sweating by the time my warm up has hit "and stretch forward...". Keep in mind I'm about 8 counts into the warm up at this point. But sweating is good for us. There are definitely no toxins left in my body. I don't see how there could be.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Between Notes and Thoughts On Words
Consider this one a two-parter.... We'll get the "business" out of the way first.
PART 1
It's Bryan's last day on contract on Friday. Therefor, he goes back to Hamilton. There will no longer be any sleeping presence in our living room that I skulk around and knock into things whilst trying to go about my midnight smoke breaks in a quiet fashion. Kind of a shame. In fact, we'll all be moving on soon. Only one month left living in this house. It's a sad time indeed. We've built a little family here at the Glenhaven house. And I firmly believe more in the family that you choose for yourself than the one you were born into. We construct our families as we get older. By choice. By common belief. By love. I will deeply miss our family dinners here. I hope we can still get together and do them once a month, like a book club kind of deal. Speaking of, I should really join a book club.
My clusterfuck of a schedule got in the way today. A student asked me if I wanted to come see his school's musical next week. He did the choreography and he's proud of what he's done. I'd love to go support him, but I work every single night that the show is on and will unfortunately have to miss it. As the words came out of my mouth I could see his once happy face morph into abject disappointment. He looked like a kicked puppy. I wanted so badly to be able to take it back and say I would be there to support him. But I can't. Sometimes I wish my life allowed for a little more wiggle room. I'll have to find a way to make it up to him somehow. It seems my existence is bent on making it up to people when I can't be there because of work.
I went to hot yoga this morning. I can't help it, hot yoga always makes me think of sex and sexual energy. Don't ask me why, because I can't explain it. It's a fleeting thought, leaves as soon as it alights in my brain, but it always pops up during a hot yoga class. Weird. Maybe it's all the sweat and open legs...? Regardless, it was a great class. I'm not sure why I haven't been in so long. I miss yoga. I wish every single day started with yoga class.
Oh, I have a date on Saturday night. Oh yes I found time. Intriguing man, but I truly believe that if someone is interested they should just tell you because I cannot read the innuendos. Just in case you might ever date me, you should know this.
LAST BIT OF BUSINESS, which I realize I should have done first. NEW VID FROM CLASS! It's been a long time since I put up a new video, figured I was overdue. This was a special combo for me. Also a special class since Jolene stayed to take it. View it here. COMMENTS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lVZoPD2ZRY
PART 2
Thoughts on words...
I don't believe in words. I can't see them. They are not tangible. They hold no substance. In a society where we can say anything we want and never have to back it up, actions are all that count. It is often too easy to simply say it, but a whole different world to mean it, and follow through. I want to be someone who follows through. Who can have conviction in what I impart to others. To show up. Physically and emotionally and be present. Not just verbally. But fully present. I think that's all we can ask for from this life. To be present and accountable, a person with merit and weight. I'm trying to measure my words now so that I can balance the scale with action later. Tedious perhaps, but a necessity. I feel a responsibility and a gravity (even urgency) in everything I do now. I am weighted. I speak only to be spoken to and divide nothing in my heart. I am, for once, whole.
PART 1
It's Bryan's last day on contract on Friday. Therefor, he goes back to Hamilton. There will no longer be any sleeping presence in our living room that I skulk around and knock into things whilst trying to go about my midnight smoke breaks in a quiet fashion. Kind of a shame. In fact, we'll all be moving on soon. Only one month left living in this house. It's a sad time indeed. We've built a little family here at the Glenhaven house. And I firmly believe more in the family that you choose for yourself than the one you were born into. We construct our families as we get older. By choice. By common belief. By love. I will deeply miss our family dinners here. I hope we can still get together and do them once a month, like a book club kind of deal. Speaking of, I should really join a book club.
My clusterfuck of a schedule got in the way today. A student asked me if I wanted to come see his school's musical next week. He did the choreography and he's proud of what he's done. I'd love to go support him, but I work every single night that the show is on and will unfortunately have to miss it. As the words came out of my mouth I could see his once happy face morph into abject disappointment. He looked like a kicked puppy. I wanted so badly to be able to take it back and say I would be there to support him. But I can't. Sometimes I wish my life allowed for a little more wiggle room. I'll have to find a way to make it up to him somehow. It seems my existence is bent on making it up to people when I can't be there because of work.
I went to hot yoga this morning. I can't help it, hot yoga always makes me think of sex and sexual energy. Don't ask me why, because I can't explain it. It's a fleeting thought, leaves as soon as it alights in my brain, but it always pops up during a hot yoga class. Weird. Maybe it's all the sweat and open legs...? Regardless, it was a great class. I'm not sure why I haven't been in so long. I miss yoga. I wish every single day started with yoga class.
Oh, I have a date on Saturday night. Oh yes I found time. Intriguing man, but I truly believe that if someone is interested they should just tell you because I cannot read the innuendos. Just in case you might ever date me, you should know this.
LAST BIT OF BUSINESS, which I realize I should have done first. NEW VID FROM CLASS! It's been a long time since I put up a new video, figured I was overdue. This was a special combo for me. Also a special class since Jolene stayed to take it. View it here. COMMENTS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lVZoPD2ZRY
PART 2
Thoughts on words...
I don't believe in words. I can't see them. They are not tangible. They hold no substance. In a society where we can say anything we want and never have to back it up, actions are all that count. It is often too easy to simply say it, but a whole different world to mean it, and follow through. I want to be someone who follows through. Who can have conviction in what I impart to others. To show up. Physically and emotionally and be present. Not just verbally. But fully present. I think that's all we can ask for from this life. To be present and accountable, a person with merit and weight. I'm trying to measure my words now so that I can balance the scale with action later. Tedious perhaps, but a necessity. I feel a responsibility and a gravity (even urgency) in everything I do now. I am weighted. I speak only to be spoken to and divide nothing in my heart. I am, for once, whole.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Things I'm Loving Right Now
1. Good books.
I've been spending gross amounts of time reading these days. I bought a whole slew of books from the Book Market last week and have been barreling my way through them like reading is about to be outlawed. I love the Book Market. One of my favourite stores, hands down. Biographies, fiction, non-fiction, historical, mythological, every type of book under the sun and all at DIRT CHEAP PRICES. How can you go wrong? Books you must read- The Glass Castle-Jeannette Walls and Unbearable Lightness-Portia de Rossi. Can't go wrong with either. They will move you.
2. Great friends and Earth Hour
We at the Glenhaven House rung in Earth Hour in style this year. We way over-celebrated too. We sat around the living room with nothing but candle light, nothing plugged in at all, for 3 hours. We go all out. Friends came and went as schedules permitted, but the candle light glowed. Conversation and laughter was plentiful. How can you go wrong?
3. New Tattoos
Got a new tattoo on Saturday. "and so she danced..." from the poem. It's been a long time since I got a tattoo, it seemed appropriate at this stage in my life. Problem is, now I really want another one. Though I suppose that's not really a problem! It's healing wonderfully thus far, no complaints here. Plus I got to go to the shop and see old friends and meet some new ones. Comin up aces.
4. Emily Browning
I'm digging her song off the SuckerPunch soundtrack, Asleep. She's got such a haunting voice, melodic and stirring. I highly recommend you check it out. Unfortunately she only has about three songs available. Not enough Emily. We want more.
5. Great Rehearsals
Competition is coming along. I had a slew of great rehearsals yesterday. Those kids work so damn hard for me and are pulling it out. It's crunch time now, comp is in t-minus 5 weeks. HOLY SHIT. And the entire season is over in 10 weeks. Where did this entire year go? I have no idea. Certainly I seem to have been present only in the studio to witness most of it. Interesting. I need to work on that I think . Anyways, things are mostly ready for competition, just a few odds and ends left to pick up and clean up. It will all get done. There is no other option.
I've been spending gross amounts of time reading these days. I bought a whole slew of books from the Book Market last week and have been barreling my way through them like reading is about to be outlawed. I love the Book Market. One of my favourite stores, hands down. Biographies, fiction, non-fiction, historical, mythological, every type of book under the sun and all at DIRT CHEAP PRICES. How can you go wrong? Books you must read- The Glass Castle-Jeannette Walls and Unbearable Lightness-Portia de Rossi. Can't go wrong with either. They will move you.
2. Great friends and Earth Hour
We at the Glenhaven House rung in Earth Hour in style this year. We way over-celebrated too. We sat around the living room with nothing but candle light, nothing plugged in at all, for 3 hours. We go all out. Friends came and went as schedules permitted, but the candle light glowed. Conversation and laughter was plentiful. How can you go wrong?
3. New Tattoos
Got a new tattoo on Saturday. "and so she danced..." from the poem. It's been a long time since I got a tattoo, it seemed appropriate at this stage in my life. Problem is, now I really want another one. Though I suppose that's not really a problem! It's healing wonderfully thus far, no complaints here. Plus I got to go to the shop and see old friends and meet some new ones. Comin up aces.
4. Emily Browning
I'm digging her song off the SuckerPunch soundtrack, Asleep. She's got such a haunting voice, melodic and stirring. I highly recommend you check it out. Unfortunately she only has about three songs available. Not enough Emily. We want more.
5. Great Rehearsals
Competition is coming along. I had a slew of great rehearsals yesterday. Those kids work so damn hard for me and are pulling it out. It's crunch time now, comp is in t-minus 5 weeks. HOLY SHIT. And the entire season is over in 10 weeks. Where did this entire year go? I have no idea. Certainly I seem to have been present only in the studio to witness most of it. Interesting. I need to work on that I think . Anyways, things are mostly ready for competition, just a few odds and ends left to pick up and clean up. It will all get done. There is no other option.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Staying Alive
My entire life has been spent in class. Taking class, teaching class, observing class, wishing I was in class, even skipping class in youthful defiance. And this endless cycle of class can become tedious. Routine, to a certain extent. But then there are some that come along that change you. Classes that you will remember for the rest of your life. My daily classes now seem to be a blended montage in my memory, but there are a few that stick out and will remain firmly entrenched in my heart as the Best Moments Of My Life. Classes that change you not only as a dancer, or a teacher, but as a Human Being. I took one such class today.
I've been extremely lucky in my dance career to have taken class from some prolific teachers such as Mia Michaels, Wade Robson, Tiffany Mclean, Evelyn Hart, Suzie Taylor, Brian Foley and more. I add another name to that list today. Benoit-Swan Pouffer-Artistic Director of Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet. His approach resonated within me. My Head and Heart and Soul felt filled in a way that I haven't felt in some time. His theories on movement and emphasis on the feel made so much sense to my body. His constant direction to "stay ALIVE" gave me the freedom to add my touch to his work. He ended his class with a series of slow walks forward and backwards. Just walking. Simple movement, to heartbreaking strings of music that echoed in the room. I had tears on my lashes and forgave myself for every mistake I had every made. Every blunder in class/rehearsal came to the front of my mind and I let it go. Finally. I was free. At last released from all the guilt and worry I had harbored over the long years. I left feeling spent, restored, sweaty as a beast and deliriously happy. Tomorrow, I will be sore. Sore and happy. Stronger. Looking forward, not behind. And excusing the obvious pun... "Staying Alive"
I've been extremely lucky in my dance career to have taken class from some prolific teachers such as Mia Michaels, Wade Robson, Tiffany Mclean, Evelyn Hart, Suzie Taylor, Brian Foley and more. I add another name to that list today. Benoit-Swan Pouffer-Artistic Director of Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet. His approach resonated within me. My Head and Heart and Soul felt filled in a way that I haven't felt in some time. His theories on movement and emphasis on the feel made so much sense to my body. His constant direction to "stay ALIVE" gave me the freedom to add my touch to his work. He ended his class with a series of slow walks forward and backwards. Just walking. Simple movement, to heartbreaking strings of music that echoed in the room. I had tears on my lashes and forgave myself for every mistake I had every made. Every blunder in class/rehearsal came to the front of my mind and I let it go. Finally. I was free. At last released from all the guilt and worry I had harbored over the long years. I left feeling spent, restored, sweaty as a beast and deliriously happy. Tomorrow, I will be sore. Sore and happy. Stronger. Looking forward, not behind. And excusing the obvious pun... "Staying Alive"
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